In this essay, I try to explore what I need in order to work in the studio. I paint and I imagine that I send out my signals, it echoes, there is something there, both outside and inside. I am fascinated by the interaction of the gaze with the emotional search in life. Painting captivates me with its seemingly playful, experimental and simple act, but it is when that act turns into deep concentration, frustration and seriousness that I can get where I want. I cannot really say why I choose the motives I choose. My work right now seems to be more and more nonverbal. The questions I try to raise are: what role does my mood play in my daily practice and how do I cope with the balance of life and work? The text also touches on similarities and differences between writing and painting. It also deals with my thoughts on motivation and the importance of being hopeful. Also, these thoughts are true right now, during May–June 2021 and I try to be careful with the idea that these thoughts apply to my practice in general. An artistic practice changes constantly, as it should.